4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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