...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
