Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
