And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
