Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
