No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
