Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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