That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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