I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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