I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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