saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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