This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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