if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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