Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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