so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
