Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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