spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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