it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
