I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
