just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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