If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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