It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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