I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Boobs speak an international language.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
