Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize