he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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