Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
