ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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