I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
