I don't think brook has ever known best
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
