How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
