No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
