But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
