I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
