Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
