My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
