i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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