she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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