I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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