It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
