He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Alive.
So much puke
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
