Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
