well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
