do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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