i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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