I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize