So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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