Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
