so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
