I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
