He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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