Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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