Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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