my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
