she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
