I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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