you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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