What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
