I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
