arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize