can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize