we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
