i think my tv is drunk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
