guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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