I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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